Who said children are getting dumber

[Alanis]

TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday? STUDENT: Seven. TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday? STUDENT: Nine. TEACHER: That's impossible. STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George!

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WILLY: Me!

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake. SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? JOSE: Don't bite any.

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN: I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am." ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you? JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.

TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!

[Arkady]

Someone's been reading the American equivalent of the Beano.