Joke of the Day

[Kelly Creative]

WAYNE Rooney has pulled out of the England squad after suffering from the common injury known as Fergietightass. The injury occurs almost undetected after the last game before international week (or during, when you’re 3-0 up) and amazingly disappears in exactly a week. Fortunately for Rooney, he can seek help from team mate Ryan Giggs who has had Fergietightass so long that he has only played for Wales 59 times despite making his debut 16 years ago.

[Kelly Creative]

MANCHESTER'S Super Casino will provide many good games such roulette, poker, slot machines and blackjack. However, the krap games will continue to be played next door at the City of Manchester Stadium.

[Kelly Creative]

What is common between between a 3 pin plug and the England football team?


They are both useless in Europe!

[Joe.Morgan]

anyone would think your hater of Man Utd Kelly?

Hello www.graphic-design-forum.com ! :)
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem.
She responds "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."
The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires "Is that true?"
The husband replies "Well not exactly, it's her that suffers not me."

Found a Great Graphic Design Forum Blog

---

Graphic Design and Web Design Forum and designers chat all here. Graphic done in photoshop and illustrator by great designers both graphic and web based.

The Graphic Design & Web Design Forum Blog covering all design topics and designers chat.

Graphic Design and Web Design Forum and designers chat all here. Graphic done in photoshop and illustrator by great designers both graphic and web based.

The Graphic Design & Web Design Forum Blog covering all design topics and designers chat.

Graphic Design Forum, Web Design Forum, Graphic Design Blog, Web Design Blog, Flash Forum & Blog, CSS Forum & Blog, HTML Forum & Blog, Photography Forum & Blog, Chat Design for Designer Web and Graphic-Design.

[Kelly Creative]

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

It's all so beautiful" she replied. "Everything is wonderful, but I have
one problem. It's these br*asts you've given me. The middle one pushes
the other two out and I'm constantly knocking them with my arms."

She went on to tell Him that since many other parts of her body came in
pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc .....she felt that having only
two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she
put it.

"That is a fair point, but it was my first shot at this, you know. I
gave the animals six br*asts, so I figured that you needed only half of
those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And He reached down, removed the middle br*ast and tossed it into the
bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"

Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. You
see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has
her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How
could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately
create a man from a part of you. Now let's see ...........where did I
put that useless t*t?"

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that stuff about the rib?

[Andy]

Hmmmz wasnt to keen on that.. didnt make me laugh. guess im old fashioned when it comes to jokes..

[Toon]

Redneck Poetry

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu.”

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a huntin’ went.
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

[Kelly Creative]

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. ''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."

[Toon]

Q: What's the difference between a Southern fairy tale and a Northern fairy tale?
A: A Southern fairy tale begins: "Once upon a time..." and a Northern fairy tale begins: "You'll never believe this bag of sh*te!"