[lolly]

Four-year-old girl screaming: IT IS MY MONEY AND I WANT IT BACK!
Shockingly calm but exhausted Dad: No Sarah, it is OUR money.
Sarah [chanting over and over while stomping her feet.]: IT IS MY MONEY! I WANT IT BACK!

--Bank, Madison Ave & E 65th


Comedy promoter to guy carrying flower: Oh, a flower! Somebody's getting laid tonight!
Guy carrying flower: That's doubtful.

--Times Square


Young Man #1: No, no no no!
Young Man #2: You're wrong and they're wrong.
Young Man #1: Naw, man, look-
Young Man #2: You are WRONG and they are WRONG.
Young Man #1: They can't, it's not like-
Young Man #2: A psychiatrist is a DOCTOR, man.
Young Man #1: So is a massage therapist!

--39th & 12th


Middle Aged Woman: I'd like to get some hard salami, but I'd like to see it first.
Serious Deli Man: You would like to see my hard salami? [goes to get it and brings it out to show her]
Woman: Is it very hard salami? How hard is the salami?
Serious Deli Man: Ma'am, I don't think it is hard enough for you.

--Fairway Market


Guy #1: Hey...Sam?
Guy #2: No...Sam's my brother.
Guy #1: Oh...sorry. Dude, you look just like him.
Guy #2: Well, we're brothers.
Guy #1: Me and my brother don't look anything alike.
Guy #2: Huh. Guess your mother was a whore.

--37th & 3rd