[lolly]

Guido chick: Hey, you over there. Yeah you, ain't you Dwayne?
Thug: Yeah, what's it to ya?
Guido chick: It's me, Gina, from the neighborhood. Whatchya doin' all the ways out here?
Thug: Workin', babe, workin'.
Guido chick: Workin' on what?
Thug: It's pickpocket season. Now's the times I makes my money.
Guido chick: Bitch, you best not be stealin' from my family! I'll bust a cap in ya ass and then tell my Uncle Carmine.
Thug: Don't worry, bitch, I only hit on the tourists.
Guido chick: Okay, babe, see ya in the neighborhood. Come tell me how it works out.


Girl: Well, she was clearly hurt. Her eye swelled up like a monkey's vagina!
Guy: What? Like a monkey's vagina?
Girl: Yeah, when they're in heat.
Guy: Ohhh... Only monkeys' vaginas swell?


Tourist woman: How do I get to Times Square?
Skinny blonde: Take a train as far north as possible.
Asian male passerby: You do not want to do that.
Tourist woman: Why do New Yorkers always lie?!
Skinny blonde: I'm not from here. I live in L.A. Everyone there lies.
Tourist woman: So how do you know where to go?
Skinny blonde: We're all psychic, too.


Bimbette #1: Dykes just don't look good with faux-hawks.
Bimbette #2: Well, I guess it gives them something else to sit on... depending on how much gel they use.