Well.. this seems like a real person, no
here anyway.. answers right back, polite, eager.
And I'm pretty sure his mom is making coffee and pastries as we speak.
Here's some simple questoins that will help whoever helps you (and may determine who) I'm sure there are more questions for you , but maybe this would help get you started.
Location: (wtf are you)?
Time Frame: (wtf do you need it done by)?
Design Ideas: (wtf do you want from me)?
Sites that you like: (..internet.. wtf is he internet )?