[Toon]

So, happy couple, get pregnant after about a year of trying. They're both over the moon, and the Dad promises to himself he'll be the best dad ever.

9 months pass by, and the wife goes into labour, right on time. There's nothing wrong with the delivery, and everything is going swimmingly until the wee lad pops out.

He's just a head.

No arms. No legs. Nothing. Just a head. Apart from that, the bairn's perfectly normal, crying his eyes out, and happily sucking his mam's tit.

So as the couple are trying to come to terms with this, and the doctor's told them that, by some sort of medical miracle, the head seems perfectly healthy, the father decided that he's going to bring him up as well as he can, and give him the best life possible.

The years go by, and the family have their ups and downs, but always the boy exceeds expectations. The biggest surprise comes when he reaches his 18th birthday, alive and (not quite) kicking.

The boy's father sits him down (again, sort of) and says to him, "Son, I know these 18 years haven't been easy for you. We all know you're not like the other boys and girls, but you're our son, and we're proud of you. Now, I'm going to take you down to the pub for your first pint. My father did it for me, and I'm going to do the same."

So, father and son go arm in arm (sorry) down to the local, where the dad props up his son, the head, on the bar, and orders 2 pints of lager. The lad starts sipping away at his pint, and about 3 sips in, suddenly, he goes red and starts coughing.

Worried, the dad reaches over but is stopped when POP the lad sprouts a torso! Everyone in the pub is speechless.

"Keep drinking!!" the dad shouts. He gets in another pint, and as the lad downs that, out pops an arm! On and on it goes, until the boy's got a fully functioning body - arms, legs, hands, feet.

Everyone's patting him on the back, and the lad's deliriously happy, and also rather ****** after about 7 swift pints. Giggling, he wanders out of the bar and into the street, shouting "Look at me!!!! I've got a whole body!!!!"

Mid-sentence though, he strays into the road and straight into the path of a big lorry, which knocks him down, bang, dead.

The pub falls silent.

The father, shocked and distraught, falls to his knees in the door of the pub, staring in disbelief at the tattered remains of his son's new body. No one says a word.

Then the landlord, leaning on the bar, calls over -

"He should've quit while he was ahead."