[MickyO]

College student #1: Yeah, I p*ssed on her, but she was old.
College student #2: It doesn't matter! You f*ckin' p*ssed on a girl!
College student #1: But she was old!
College student #2: Old... young... It doesn't matter! You p*ssed on a b*tch!

--Canal St & Church St


Small child: I'm going to bite you, mom!
Mom: No, wait till we get off the train.

--1 Train



Guy #1: Y'know, I really just need to get it through her head that there's nothing wrong with waking up naked in a Jewish synagogue.
Guy #2: Yeah... I feel that, man.
Guy #1: I mean, now that it's happened more than once, she really needs to realize that it's okay.

--NYU Gallatin Elevator


Guy: I hate coming-of-age stories.
Girl: Why?
Guy: They're boring.
Girl: Yeah, but this one has boobs in it.

--F Train


(mom yelling at six-year-old son playing with several magazines)
Mom: Eric, let's go now!
Eric: But Mom, I want one!
Mom: For Christ's sake! Just take one and let's go.
(Eric takes Gay Life)
Mom: Your father is going to kill you.

--80th & 2nd Ave