Dumb teen girl #1: So how did they "almost have sex"?
Dumb teen girl #2: Haha, she said "His dick was like -in my vagina... Except we had clothes on".
Dumb teen girl #1: That's called dry humping. We did that in like - seventh grade!
Dumb teen girl #2: I know.
--1 Train
Woman, yelling into cell: Why you gotta be eatin' all my food for? You a damn crackhead, you don't need no damned food!
Woman sitting next to her, shaking his head: Yeah, food is whack.
--M60 Bus
Blond guy: Hey dude, last week I was sooo drunk.
Brown haired guy: Oh what happened?
Blond guy: I was at a bar, right? ****** drunk. Then I saw this hot girl, took her over to my place and she slept over. We had a great time until we woke up, and the bed was covered in like sixty individually wrapped Kinder chocolates. I have no idea where they came from, neither one of us were German! They were just all over the bed. 'til this day, I still don't know where they came from...
Brown haired: Wow.
--74th St Deli
Teen cashier: I'll need to see some ID.
Female shopper: Ok, here you go.
Teen cashier: [Looks at woman's driver's license.] Oh wow, so you're an organ donor?
Female shopper: Yes.
Teen cashier: Oh my god! Which organ did you donate?
--Trader Joe's, Union Square
Conductor: This is the shuttle to Times Square. This is not an express train. You are on the shuttle to Times Square, not an express train. Again, this is the shuttle to Times Square... Not an express train. Shuttle to Times Square...
Random thug: Shut the **** up!
Conductor: ... Not the express train. And for the lovely person who just told me to shut up, I'm in the car right next to you. Merry Christmas to all.
[Short pause.]
Conductor: Except to the kid who told me to shut up.
--Shuttle to Times Square
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